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Tuesday, June 4th, 2002
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11:24 pm - San Francisco Sunset
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Pelican formations in the sky,
Wing beats coinciding with notes
that fade as water drowns out fire.
First I took for granted the capacity of most
to give and inspire it;
Then I thought I could be one of the strong or oblivious
and do without it.
Now I realize its rarity, only to find
that I do want it.
Love,
What more lessons do you have in store?
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(3 comments | comment on this)
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| Wednesday, May 2nd, 2001
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4:27 pm - For SO long...
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For so long I had felt so powerless, so glaringly weak and vulnerable
and I thought that I could be saved by the right kind of relationship
For even longer I had lived in constant fear that I would get found out
as the neurotic freak that I naturally am ---
Whenever I had to perfect something, I felt that it was on my own time;
no one was paying me for that level of attention or detail after all
But even before then I had always been the perfectionist;
I couldn't help it
And now I know that to stay out of that painfully powerless feeling
I have to let myself be that perfectionist
So I will be that freak --- but not a neurotic one if I can help it
current mood:  contemplative
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| Tuesday, May 1st, 2001
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9:04 pm - Girl Pride
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Despite high divorce rates, delayed marriages, and the tribulations of juggling family and career, I think now that it is a great time to be a girl/woman --- what with cool sassy stars like Destiny's Child singing songs like Independent Women and Survivor, there is a certain overarching sense of sisterhood in fighting against culture-engrained lessons of living to serve men --- one that I doubt was much in place before.
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| Monday, April 30th, 2001
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12:59 pm - GAG debuts on LiveJournal
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| Thursday, April 12th, 2001
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3:59 am
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Another typical night for an unemployed insomniac. You know, you can watch only so much MTV and VH1 before it all gets old, so I haven't been doing that anymore! But I am still surfing a lot of the time, just looking... and looking... exploring everything -- 'cause here on the Net you actually never do run out of things to see.
It seems as though I can feel the very atoms of my being realigning themselves. I have felt this good, this myself before, but it always ended with having to go back to someone else's reality. Well, sir, I'm through with doing that. It takes like a whole month for me to recover every time from the moment I get away -- i.e. stop playing by the world's rules and get back to myself. So now it's time I stopped letting the world yo-yo me around! I need a lot of time to do simple things like catching up with emails, etc. that don't normally take other people nearly as long, but damnit it's important to me -- and I count too! My friendships have suffered long enough!
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(comment on this)
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| Monday, March 26th, 2001
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3:56 am
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It's been a full weekend -- the first one in a long time. Thursday night I stayed up til REALLY late putzing on the web because I finally got high-speed internet access again, and miraculously I still got myself up on Friday in time to go out to lunch with Amy in Central Square. We griped and laughed about the aftermath of surviving MIT... well, mostly it was me. ;P Afterwards I fully expected myself to go straight home and crash out for hours, but I found myself biking to Harvard Square and looking around. (I LOVE walking around, looking around the town.) First I looked around Jasmine Sola, Artists Co-op, Urban Outfitters, etc. and then Wordsworth and Harvard Book Shop (while I waited for my stupid cramps to pass -- dang it, where's my Midol when I need it?). Eventually I bought a book called Demonic Males. Hee. It's about the study of apes to find out the origin of human males' propensity towards violence. And then I went home to a full evening of Cartoon Network. Hee. So much for Stupid Boy not calling me.
I ended up staying up again Friday night. Surfing again. Such an addict -- but I'd missed the web the past two weeks ya know. Then Saturday was my first day of teaching High School Studies Program classes: Express Your Inner Self (an over-cheesy title for my expressive arts class) and Introduction to Mandarin Chinese. I was pretty nervous that the kids were gonna think I was uncool or that I'd run out of things to say, but it all turned out great! Went to the Coop afterwards until I remembered that I had Joanna's wine and cheese party to get ready for!
Slept til 5pm on Sunday -- a new record for me. But partying's not over for the weekend! -- Oscars?! I didn't realize it was tonight! But I tagged along with Teresa to a party anyway.
Fruuh! A packed weekend indeed.
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